Now.

My inspiration spoke to me today of a topic that I've been toying with for quite a long time-- taking a break.

I regret the announcement, for I do love what I do and I enjoy making things that are worth my time.

But I guess that's where the problem occurs--
I'm feeling less and less as though what I do makes a difference. So, I need to do something that I feel does make a difference. I'm going to focus harder on some of my other arts. I want to learn how to play my violin, I want to make a few different crochet-ing projects, I want to write a play (no matter how short or how qualitative, I just want to write a script from beginning to end), I want to get in shape, I want to be able to enjoy my busy time with my love, I want to help my love achieve his highest goals, I want to be able to reconnect with my family, I want to be able to feel fulfilled and happy without the help of anyone else.

I know how to do this.
I grew up with the skill.
But
I grew up very much alone and wanting to be with another person constantly takes away that somewhat-lonely-but-very-productive self-time.

Now, I'll be able to go to Tall Toads. Now, I'll be able to change/fix clothes that I have to get rid of/change and keep the things I should. Now, I'll be able to sit down and really donate some time to everything.

Now, I continue to become a better person.

music--soul rehab

i've found myself

listening
to more sedated music.
It feels like a balm on open wounds
in my heart
and mind.

my heart beats fast and is
lost.

but smooth, tender music
is such a healing practice
and feels like a soul massage
but instead of focusing on pressure points and hurting

it's an even rub-down.
a solid pushing through the muscles
that make me feel
whatever it is
that I need to feel

to heal.

food-labeling and production makes me wish i was anorexic

I recently learned that the GMO bills/laws were being passed at the same time as all of this marriage equality business.

First off, I am all for marriage equality. The chance to love a person is not one to be passed up and if gay people, or anyone else for that matter (ex: the dude who married the Eiffel Tower.....?), want to get married they should have the option. Does allowing other couples to get married really affect those who are opposing? How?
On the same note, I saw a link the other day that stated "So what if being gay is a choice--being an asshole is a choice, but they still get to get married." PERFECTLY TRUE. If crazy drug-addled heterosexual humans can get married and start a coke-baby family, then happy homosexual couples should be able to create a better living environment for children.
I think heterosexual parents who are against marriage equality are just scared because often they are horrible parents. It's not easy to be a parent, I'm sure, but since the key is love,

WHY WON'T YOU LET PEOPLE IN LOVE GET MARRIED?

Life is only so long--do you really want to be the person responsible for someone else's unhappiness. Also, who are you to judge? Are you a perfect person? Then fix yourself, and stop focusing on your assumed imperfections of others.

Now to the point--food labeling and production is disgusting. I wish I could stop eating food, that's how bad it is. And yet, our "brilliant" government passes a law that allows GMO's to be utilized in foods EVEN AFTER BEING PROVEN UNSAFE FOR CONSUMPTION. They run this vote at the same time as the marriage equality vote just to make sure that something else is taking attention off of this disgusting ploy for more money.

c'mon America.

Has this country gotten to the point that the government is so greedy that they want to poison their own constituency for a cheaper way to make the most money? And not even telling these people the truth and giving them the choice--but instead, they hide this fact behind the facade of "making the country better" by trying to help everyone have rights.

As a gluten-intolerant, it's pretty stupid that I can't study an item and know if it's going to make me shit blood.

As a human, it makes me so very sad that ingredients in foods aren't tested to be safe to consume.

Many days and many nights

I've been absent from this page for a while, and hope that doesn't happen again. I enjoy sharing my words and feelings with this dandelion-page.

Makes me feel accomplished, in a way.

Indeed, I've been thinking about accomplishment quite a bit.


On a not-at-all different note, Juliet Capulet is finally a real person to me. She has thoughts and dreams, instead of just angsty emotions. She is awkward, and lonely, and too intelligent for the role her parents (and the world) have set out for her.
She falls in love with Romeo because he is different. Because he wants her to think and feel and speak. Because he loves her for all of that. Because he not only lets her be strong, but encourages it.

Come and see.

R&J. "a sweetly bawdy comedy...until it isn't."

I am the luckiest

Poetry he didn't mean to write for me out of his honesty.


"also you look stunning this morning
in the pale sunlight glowing

like an angel making me believe
i was making love to make believe
which is so confusing i cant see
but i know im lucky that you love me"



And he thinks he's the lucky one....

Don't be mean. There's just no excuse

This is all I share today-- This example of why we as humans should never victimize others. None of us know the beauty within their heads that they will feel the need to destroy due to the "common opinion".

Thanks to Shel Silverstein for the wondrous image.

Choose to adventure

She awoke with a start, barely escaping the danger of her dream realm, breathing deeply of the morning air with thankfulness that she still can. A smile spreads across her face at the still-snoring Frobard beside her, the adorable gnome camouflaging as a rock. He's entirely convincing... save the echoing noise emanating from him. She giggles to herself as their slinky black pets come stalking up the rounded side of the sleeping gnome, the two animals' 56 claws (7 on each foot) sometimes not releasing and dragging things along behind them.

With a sharp plead for attention, one being gracefully lays down atop Frobard and he pets her absent-mindedly as he begins to awaken. The faerie links eyes with him as his drift open groggily.

"Flergin," he mumbles with a deep sigh.

"What?" she responds, eyes sparkling at the mussy-haired gnome.

"So pretty." he sends back to her, lifting a hand and sliding his fingertips down her face. She giggles at his sleepiness and he smiles with the infectiousness of her laughter. She flutters her emerald wings and prepares to leave for adventures of the day.


-----
So maybe it wasn't a gnome and a faerie, or some odd pair of creatures.

But a day has as much adventure as you choose.
I like stories better.

gathered words and memories

I remember bedtime stories

and I remember laughing

I remember trying and failing and still feeling your support.

I remember nail polish

and I remember special lunches

I remember dancing and coloring and singing on the toilet.

I remember mom&me coffees

and I remember the hammock

I remember firework-watching and dinner-times and sun-studying.

I remember Europe

and I remember Australia

I remember Korea and Mexico and the Caribbean.

I remember Church

and I remember Sunday lessons

I remember choirs and being taught by my examples of faith and catechisms.

I remember Duke

and I remember Duchess

I remember the bunny rabbit and turtles and numerous kittens.

I remember playing cards

and I remember making cards

I remember spending time and getting to know and having fun.

I remember Pike’s Peak

and I remember Yosemite

I remember Lake Amistad and the Redwoods and tea from the sun.

I remember talking

and I remember listening

I remember high’s and low’s and recalling our good deeds.

I remember being my daddy’s girl

and I remember striving to be mommy

I remember teasing Jake and protecting Michael and counting my family my besties.

I remember sacrifice

and I remember freedom

I remember happiness and outside and love.

I remember love most of all.

All of these things are past, but they are still alive in me. However I grow, and however I roam, I will never fail to keep these in my heart. However I may hurt, and however I may misunderstand, I will never fail to love our 5-person unit of friendship. However I have been, and however I will be, out-of-place or exactly-belonging, I will never fail to be myself and uphold the good I’ve been taught.