Falling apart

I feel like if I could only just

fall apart,

I could put myself back together right.
Like there's some kind of connection missing. Or a synapses that doesn't fire quite right. Maybe a loose joint, missing a bit of extra cartilage?

And if I could just collapse into little pieces, they could all find the right place to be and I won't feel so odd all the time. Sure, the building-back will take time.

But at least I would be fixed.



But I can't fall apart. I'm needed, whether broken or fixed. And I don't have the time to break me down to the beginning again. The question is, how do you fix something that is wrong from the ground up

without starting at the ground?