As I sit outside on this beautiful overcast day, I ponder my very existence and recall memories.
As a child, I always loved the villains. Even if frightening, I found their stories and personalities intriguing, their style enviable, and their power delicious. I find in myself as I age, that I have a tendency towards 'evil'. An ease of lying, deceitfulness, bullying, often even subconsciously. Now whether this is naturally part of me, or I've learned as a defensive technique, it is hard to say. A bit of both, if I had to answer.
While still something I feel shame towards, I take pride in not shying away from my darkness. I know it sets me apart, causes me to feel alone; but I can also sense that power. I feel it.
I fight to be good. And I try to be kind. But that automatic reaction of "FUCK OFF" never really goes away.
So. I remind myself of this:
Everything we do matters. Good or bad, right or wrong.
It does matter.
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